Being A Mother- Funny Quotes
Pregnancy is one of life’s most special times. But it doesn’t come without some humorous aspects. We pay tribute to those here. If you need the perfect funny quotes for mothers to be, you can find them below. We have created over 80 original and humorous phrases to help you get started.
Feel free to use them any way you like. Let the mother to be know that you care .
What Are Good Mom Quotes?
- Here’s hoping your baby is just like you…cause karma is a b***h!
- You will never love your child more…than when they sleep.
- My mother never breast fed me, she told me we are just friends. Be better!
- MY mom used to tell me the most wonderful heartwarming stories about pregnancy and child birth…and how she screamed in pain for 18 hours and her “junk” was destroyed! Ahhhh the memories…
- Just a few hours of hellish pain…and…a mother is born!
- You are a mother now, your superpower is poop!
- Never, I repeat, never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she is pregnant, unless you see an actual human baby popping out of her.
- Nothing in this world is like a mother’s love, except, you know…wine and chocolate!
- You know how you know your name, what day of the week it is, and how to tie your shoes? Yeah, forget about that!
- You’re about to spend 2 years teaching another human how to walk and talk, then 16 years trying to reverse that.
How Do You Send A Funny Message To A Mother To Be?
- My mom always tells me that a husband’s purpose is for vehicle maintenance, and that the wife’s purpose is to reign as a proper queen!
- My mom attempted to kill me when I was a baby. She thought keeping me in a plastic bag would keep me fresh… I can’t express how much I love her.
- I asked my Mom if she thinks I’m talented… she said she certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
- Just keep one room with soft surfaces and a door that locks for when the kids are going crazy, When they’re done, you can come out.
- Don’t listen to all those stories about 36 hours in labor, etc. I’m sure yours will be a breeze!
- Being pregnant only lasts nine short months. Well, eight short months. That last one lasts about a year!
- Pregnancy is when you have two brains and are never so dumb.
- Pregnancy is awesome! Eat, pee, fart, as much as you want!
- I wonder if soon-to-be mothers have a song they listen to before labor. mine was ‘Push It’ by Salt-N-Papa.
- Don’t worry about your kids giving you a hard time. You can always lock yourself in your room and let you man handle it, that’s what they are for!
Having Fun With Mother Quotes
- My mom used to say that the only reason men are on this planet are for fixing whatever’s wrong in the house. Hence, every time you feel overwhelmed with your babies, remember that the second reason is to take his frikkin’ turn!
- I am certain that your baby will be one of the Nobel Prize kinds, not one of the serial killer kind.
- If your baby is gifted, don’t tell him. Nothing worse than an arrogant baby!
- A mother surely hopes for her new-born child to be THE one to admire. She would want him/her to have beauty, brains, and a but-load of of kindness. I am sure YOUR’S will be fine too!
- Don’t be too scared by all those scary new-mom stories. I’m not saying they are not true, just no reason to fret NOW.
- Remember when we were kids, before baby proofing…yeah, git er done!
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- Every mother does remarkable things. My mom served us nothing but leftovers for thirty years… we’re alive and well. (Still can’t figure where she got them) Can’t wait to see what your superpower is!
- As long as you could somehow look ten years younger than your daughter, I’m sure you wouldn’t feel old. But you are…you’re OLD!
- I am sitting here staring at the most spectacular person I have ever met. Smart, funny and absolutely beautiful! Yes, I am talking to you, little one, not your mom!
- This is the way I see it: if the kids are still breathing when my husband gets home from work, I know I’ve done my job well.
- Raising a child is half pure joy and half wondering if you’ll make it out of this battlefield alive.
Funny Sayings About Being A Mom
- I had to get back to work, the baby and I only had a verbal contract for me to stay home.
- When I was pregnant, my butt swelled up so big it never came back. But I’m sure you’ll be alright…
- My son and my favorite game to play is hide and seek. That’s where I hide in a locked closet with a bottle of wine and he eventually comes across a toy and gives up.
- I want my kids to achieve their dreams and have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then, the guilt starts!
- Everything about a newborn baby is perfect… until the mom starts singing.
- Everyone knows that the it’s not over until the fat lady sings. Yet, she could stop singing, packs up and goes home, mothers would still be saying goodbye on the phone.
- When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a some life advice?’, don’t be fooled. No matter what your answer is, you’re getting it anyway.
- If a mother has to choose between saving a dog and saving her baby, she would undoubtedly do the latter… with her man as a human shield.
- When I was young, my mother always wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood, it turned blue. When she was in a bad mood, it would not only turn red, but also it would also leave a mark on my butt!
- My mom’s dinner menu comprises of two choices: take it or leave it.
- None of your sweaters are gonna be just yours anymore… it’s your child’s too, doesn’t matter if it’s too big.
Give Your Favorite Pregnant Lady A Laugh
- A suburban mother’s role it to deliver children. Once at the hospital, and the rest of her life by car.
- A mom only needs to step into a hot bath to be instantly reminded that she is an integral part of the family.
- My teenage son must think I am half stupid for always forgetting the most random things… Im glad he was too young to remember being left at the mall!
- Don’t you find it so funny when mothers get so mad that they can’t remember her kid’s name? ‘Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga…whatever your name is!
- A mother could be a hundred years old, blind and deaf, and STILL know that her baby has had a bad day. Mom powers are extraordinary.
- A mother shouldn’t be someone to lean on, but someone to make leaning unnecessary.
- The destiny of your child is shaped by God… but if that doesn’t work, try bribery!
- Mothers are fonder of their children than the fathers are, maybe it’s because they literally carry their kids for 9 months.- and dads are dumb!
- Shower your baby with all of your love, tears, and strength…and get puked on. Welcome to motherhood.
- A mother’s life in a phrase: trapped between a scream and a laugh.
Add Your Heading Text Here
- Anyone who does not reminisce the past must’ve never had a great mom to make it so memorable.
- Whenever life gets hard, my mom always tells me to be like a duck: calm on the surface but paddling like there’s no tomorrow underneath the water.
- My mom used to tell me that men gives awards, but God gives rewards. Never stop hustlin’, hun.
- Diapers…that’s your life for the next couple of years.
- The older I get, the more I see my mom’s traits deeply engrained in myself… the bad ones too.
- As we carry our baby in our tummies, we know almost nothing about it, what makes them special… but we’ll love it unlike any other baby, and our love will be unconditional.
- The first lesson every child should learn in that Momma knows best. Don’t you ever suggest otherwise.
- The quickest way to get your babies attention, is to relax for a second. .
- The bond between a mother and her child is unique, with a deep affection founded on fights.
- The fact that mothers still only have 2 hands is proof against evolution!
Hilarious Phrases About Motherhood
- Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease
- It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.
- Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children
- Mom, I love you and your super long voicemails
- Our mothers always remain the strangest, craziest people we’ve ever met
- Spit up is the new black!
- Every day I wake up and think: How am I becoming more and more like my mother?
- Inspiration and focus don’t always come from the divine. Sometimes, all it takes is a mother to slap you back into reality.
- You know what’s breathtaking? A mom accepts us for who we are, even with faults we don’t even have.
- They will love you, they will care for you, but they will NEVER accept your Facebook request.
Funny Lines About Being Pregnant
- At the end of the day, mothers are always right. They are walking encyclopedias.
- A mother is one’s friend and first love… she could care and hate her kid at the same time.
- I am certain that YOUR baby’s smile will be because of you…not gas.
- Mothers are the heartbeat in the home, the one that keeps the family alive together. Without her, there would simply be no life.
- Mothers are very much like superglue. Even when they’re not with you, they’re still holding the family tight.
- My mother: a beautiful, composed, and strong human being. A woman like that is what you should aspire to be when you grow up.
- Mothers are heavenly angels sent by God to warm the hearts of little children.
- Congratulations, you are well on the road to living in an asylum run by the residents!