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Is 70 A Milestone Birthday?

Rather than a celebration of youth, coming of age, or adult freedoms, turning 70 is a point in life where you are done developing; like a flower, you have reached your full potential and your petals begin to wilt.

When crafting the perfect birthday message for someone whose mind runs faster than the body, include funny 70th birthday quotes to engage their sharp wit, inspire their future endeavors, and imbue your words in their memory.

Also, make sure that their 70th birthday card is accompanied by the perfect birthday gift- something chosen with an amazing person who’s only 70 years old in mind!

What Do You Say For A 70th Birthday?

  • Although you may remember the 70’s like a wild time, your 70’s can be just as groovy! Happy 70th birthday.
  • Soon you’ll find that a lot of big things come with turning 70: big doctor appointments, large print in your books, and huge pills.
  • Maybe you can’t catch up with the grandkids at seventy years old, but as long as your mind runs faster than their hands you can still catch them in the act!
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  • You’ve accomplished enough to fulfill several lifetimes, and yet you’re only 70 years old!
  • On your special day, funny 70th birthday quotes are coming your way.
  • For turning 70, you deserve a really special birthday gift; however, being alive at 70 is a gift in and of itself!
  • It takes an amazing person to make it all the way to seventy years old, so have an amazing birthday celebration.
  • Perhaps your mind isn’t as quick as it used to be, but it’s still faster than the body you have!
  • When you opened your 70th birthday card from me, you may have expected funny 70th birthday quotes about incontinence, losing teeth, and poor eyesight. However, I just hope that you enjoy your special day.
  • Because you’re no longer a spring chicken at your age, you don’t have to shake your tail feathers. However, you’re only 70 years old, so you can still strut your stuff!

Being 70 is not a sin

How Do You Say Happy 70th Birthday In A Funny Way?

  • Finally, you’ve reached your peak of personal perfection- the end of a 70 year wait!
  • Now that you’re turning 70, it’s time to grow up and stop acting like a kid in their 60’s.
  • Driving as fast as your age would be dangerous for everyone involved from here on out; nonetheless, you should celebrate your special day at 70 miles per hour!
  • Considering how long you’ve kept your doctor in business, he should send you a 70th birthday card, flowers, and the keys to a new car!
  • If your mind runs faster than your body, it’s still like a sloth outrunning a slug: no one’s going to get a trophy. Happy 70th birthday, remember to take your time!
  • Some things are guaranteed, but turning 70 isn’t one of them; in fact, I would say that you outlived your extended warranty by quite a bit, already!
  • Though you may feel very old, the world is thousands of years old, at least- so really, being only 70 years old isn’t that big of a deal.
  • Considering what an amazing person you are while reading your 70th birthday card, just imagine how excellent you’ll be in 10 more years!
  • After 69 birthdays, you don’t expect to get the perfect birthday gift; however, I hid your pills for a month so that you’d be happy to have them! Happy 70th birthday.
  • An amazing person would say that turning seventy is more important than any gift or card therefore, I assumed you just wouldn’t want one.

Fun Gifts for 70 Year Old

What Are Some Good 70th Birthday Sayings?

  • You’re an amazing, wonderful, and unreproachable person- and it took you only 70 years to perfect yourself!
  • I have a special birthday message, just for you; to read the funny 70th birthday quotes in this card, you may need a new eyeglasses prescription.
  • Because you’re only 70 years old, you’re still too young for the geriatric crowd.
  • I’m wishing a happy 70th birthday to you in the only way that you’ll notice: with large print!
  • Respect is something that’s earned over time, and because you’re turning 70, I can assume that you’re the most respected person I know.
  • You’re never too old to reach a milestone in life; that is until you find yourself without a road to walk on! Happy 70th birthday
  • Only 70 years ago, the world was first blessed with your presence- let’s hope for 70 more!
  • Dance, party, and live it up but don’t end up reading funny 70th birthday quotes from a hospital bed!
  • Having fun doesn’t stop just because you’re turning 70- in fact, the older you are the more exciting life is.
  • Dancing in the rain might make you feel refreshed and youthful, but it may also break your hip. Having said that, you should spend your special day dancing on dry surfaces only.
older couple celebrating 70th birthday on bikes

How Do You Write A 70th Birthday Blessing?

  • Lighting up the room is as easy for you as smiling; as a result, you don’t have to get up to turn on a light switch. Happy 70th birthday, and may you shine on!
  • Picking out the perfect birthday gift for an amazing person like you is impossible; therefore, I’ll just email you some funny 70th birthday quotes and call it a day.
  • Making it to the age of 70 in such great shape is a blessing, but I hope you have many more years ahead of you!
  • My birthday message to you is to live each day as though it were your last because tomorrow is never promised.
  • When an amazing person is turning 70, the whole world rejoices! Happy birthday, to someone that’s been around long enough to touch nearly everyone else’s lives.
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  • Reaching your age can be seen as making it all the way past 69, or as being only 70 years old. Either way, you haven’t overstayed your welcome, here on Earth!
  • Sweet things like you are proof that sugar never expires! Happy 70th birthday, honey.
  • Looking back, you’ll fondly smile when thinking of all the wonderful years that are behind you. However, you have many more ahead of you still, so don’t stop planning for good times after you turn 70!
  • It must be true that your mind runs faster than your body as you age because if your mind was slower than your body it would be at a complete standstill.
  • What is faster than the body it’s attached to, must be exercised regularly, and needs food but never gets far away from you? Your mind, of course. Best of everything to you! 
senior woman out for a walk

Funny 70th Birthday Jokes

  • All jokes aside, adult diapers are a sensible gift for someone who’s turning 70.
  • You are now a 70 year old, which means there are two things you survived: Retirement and your 60’s. 
  • I wish you a happy 70th birthday as I shoo the buzzards away from you.
  • Don’t resign yourself to oversized glasses, granny panties, and orthopedic shoes; after all, you’re only 70 years old.
  • Today is your special day; I don’t know if you remember which day it is, but the cake says “Happy 70th Birthday!”

When you are forty, half of you belongs to the past…And when you are seventy, nearly all of you

  • As long as your mouth is faster than your body, you can ask for help to get to the bathroom in time; therefore, turning 70 isn’t all that bad!
  • May love, joy, and cake surround you on your special day! Go ahead, it’s free. Happy 70th birthday.
  • Turning  70 means two things For one you are officially old, and for the other…never mind, you will forget anyway!
older couple enjoying jacuzzi on 7th birthday
  • If you were a piece of candy you’d be a Bit O’ Honey, because you’re a sweet little thing. Enjoy your 70th birthday card and your special day!
  • Funny birthday jokes and gag gift ideas probably won’t impress you, because at 70 years old, you’ve seen and heard it all.

Funny 70th Birthday Limericks

  • Some would say you’re getting old,
    But that’s not bad if you’re wine or mold.
  • Turning 70 looks good on you
    Of that, there is no doubt
    I hope all your birthday wishes come true
    And that you never do without!
  • Seventy years have come and gone,
    Yet here you are still standing strong.
    I hope you don’t have to try too hard
    To read your 70th birthday card!
  • A special birthday message is on your 70th birthday card
    I don’t think you can see it unless you look very hard
    So put this down or throw it away
    Because I’m right next to you on your special day!
  • You’ve seen so much at only 70 years old
    Your memories alone are worth their weight in gold.
    Although you may not have wealth
    At least you have your health!
    Because you’re an amazing person in all that you do
    I’m wishing a happy 70th birthday to you!
senior couple celebrating 70th birthday outdoors
  • Whether or not you’re feeling of old age
    You’re dancing on life’s final stage
    It’s your special day, so say it loud,
    “I’m turning 70 and feeling proud!”
  • Being a senior citizen is only a state of mind
    So seize every opportunity for excitement that you find.
    You’ve packed so much fun, happiness, and joy into only 70 years
    But still, you chase adventure without any fears!
  • Special, loved, and important to our family,
    Today we celebrate an amazing person
    Who’s as strong as she is lovely
    So we hope that turning 70 is fun
    And that your birthday cake is yummy!
  • What is the perfect birthday gift
    For someone who’s only 70 years old
    Whose mind runs faster
    Than a cracking whip
    With a heart as good as gold.
    What could make you feel happier on this day
    Than any present you could hold?
    Hopefully, it’s this card from me that says,
    “Happy 70th birthday!”
tw older women heartily laughing at pool

70th Birthday Slogans

  • Funny birthday jokes about being a senior citizen lose their hilarity when you’ve had an AARP card for several years already; however, you’re only 70 years old so there’s plenty more to come!
  • Congratulations on turning 70, which is no small feat; especially because you have to walk around with such small feet!
  • Rather than lighting seventy candles, you should just have a bonfire outside with a slice of cake. Happy 70th birthday.
  • Although you may have to cut back on sugar, an amazing person like you will always be sweet! Enjoy your special day with all the energy of someone who’s only 70 years old.
  • Cheeky 70th birthday quips on coffee mugs and birthday cards mean that the 60s have left you forever, but you still collect a pension!
  • It’s never too late in life to have a defining moment, so enjoy turning 70 and never stop expanding your world.
  • Grandparents have a way of never being surprised because they’ve seen it all! Happy 70th birthday to my unshakable, unstoppable, and unreplaceable grandpa.
  • I can’t believe that you’re only 70 years old! You might think this is one of those funny 70th birthday quotes, but I genuinely thought you were 90.
  • Cute little old ladies are my favorite kind of people, and you’re the cutest, littlest, and oldest one I know! I hope you like your 70th birthday card from your biggest fan!
Beautiful woman turning 70

Funny 70th Birthday Quotes For Husband

  • You’ve spent only 70 years on this planet, most of them with me
    I hope that we have 70 more- retired, relaxed, and happy!
  • You are turning 70. Better start watching your lifestyle!
  • Happy 70th birthday to an amazing person, incredible grandpa, excellent father, and the best husband I could ask for.
  • You’ve made a friend for every year of life, so your party should be very crowded; especially considering that this is your 70th birthday card. Enjoy your special day!
  • There are ups and downs in life, but we rode the rollercoaster together without getting off; however, you threw up a lot. Thank you for enduring with me and enjoy turning 70!
  • “Old Reliable” is a great nick-name for you, because your restroom trips can be used to mark time! Happy 70th birthday, to a husband that has a strict routine.
  • 17 is when you got your first car
    By 30, you felt you’d come really far.
    Yet, at only 70 years old
    A husband like you is far from getting cold!
  • Better than any other birthday message, I’m using your 70th birthday card to let you know that the doctor called and said that you have a clean bill of health. Happy birthday from your loving wife!
  • Age is just a number if the mind runs faster than you’re willing to drive, and turning 70 means that you won’t go over 35.
  • Were you expecting witty 70th birthday greetings from your own wife? I did try to think of some, after all, but I didn’t bother to copy one down since you can barely see well enough to read a card.

Funny 70th Birthday Wishes For Wife

  • Keeping up with a girl like you was always hard, and now that you’re turning 70, I’m still in your dust!
  • Looking at you always takes me back to when we were in our twenties, and the passion within me burns just as hot. Happy 70th birthday, to my eternal flame.
  • Don’t think of it like you’re already 70, but that you’re only 70 years old.
wife celebrating husband's 70th birthday at dinner
  • Unlike a goldfish, hamster, or puppy, you would’ve been much harder to replace without the kids noticing; therefore, this 70th birthday card is really meant to say thank you!
  • Prayers brought an amazing person into my life, and through the grace of God, you became my wife.  Please enjoy your special day, with your husband who’s old and gray.  At 70 years of age, you’re doing well to keep me deeply under your love spell!
  • Angels don’t all have wings; after all, you never fly anywhere! Happy 70th birthday, to my wife who truly fell from heaven.
  • Walking everywhere with you is a pleasure, including past this milestone of turning 70. Cheers to another wonderful year together!
  • Just like on our wedding day, you’re still the woman of my dreams. Congratulations on receiving your seventieth birthday message in good health!
  • Wives everywhere should look to you as the golden standard- after only 70 years, you’ve perfected the art of womanhood.
  • Old age happens when you survive being young, which is rare in itself. Surviving a husband like me up to the age of 70 makes you a superhero! 

Quotes About Getting Old



Wrinkles will only go where the smiles have been



Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears



Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional



Age is something that doesn't matter... unless you are a cheese!"



Ageing is just another word for living



It's not how old you are. It's how you are old



We are always the same age inside



One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming



It matters not how long we live but how



Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old

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