Funny Christmas Messages For Cards
Christmas is right around the corner, and what better way to get into the festive spirit than with a hearty dose of laughter? š Whether you’re gearing up to write those Christmas cards, adding a clever touch to your holiday decorations, or just looking to spread a little holiday cheer, funny Christmas quotes and sayings are the perfect way to bring on the smiles. From silly Santa one-liners to witty winter wordplay, hereās your ultimate list of quotes to make everyone on your āNiceā (and maybe āNaughtyā) list chuckle.
Grab a mug of cocoa, snuggle up by the fire, and dive into these 100+ hilariously funny Christmas quotes and sayings that are sure to bring a twinkle to your eye and maybe even a belly laugh (like a certain jolly old elf we know)!
Hilariously Funny Christmas Quotes
- “Iām dreaming of a white Christmasā¦ but if the white runs out, Iāll drink the red.”.
- he four stages of life: 1) You believe in Santa. 2) You donāt believe in Santa. 3) You are Santa. 4) You look like Santa.””Christmas is the only time of year where you can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.”
- “Dear Santa, I was good at being naughty. Does that count?”.
- “Itās all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty listā¦ then you realize how much fun you had.”.
- “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to wrap everything you own in tinsel and hope for the best.”
- “Nothing says holiday spirit quite like getting tangled in lights and pulling pine needles out of your hair.”.
- “Christmas: The only time of year when we all sit around a dead tree and eat candy out of socks. Makes sense, right?”
- “My favorite thing about the holiday season? Calories donāt count in December!”
- “Christmas is magical because it turns your savings into gifts.”.
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
Cute Christmas Quotes Funny
- “Iām only a morning person on December 25th.”
- Dear Santa, I can explainā¦ but maybe weāll save that for next year.
- “All I want for Christmas is a silent night.”.
- I put so much thought into Christmas giftsā¦ I could really use a nap now.”
- “Dear Santa, define āniceā.”
- “Christmas magic is seeing your living room covered in wrapping paper and realizing the mess is totally worth it.”
- “Dear Santa, Iāve been good all yearā¦ well, most of the timeā¦ okay, maybe once or twiceā¦ never mind, Iāll buy my own gifts.”
- “Merry Christmas! May your holiday season be filled with more joy than tangled lights.”
- “Wishing you a holiday where the only drama is how much sugar went into the Christmas cookies.”
- “Christmas calories donāt countā¦ which is why Iāll be sampling everything. Twice.”
Funny Xmas Wishes
Tis the season to spread some cheerāand what better way to do it than with a little laughter! Christmas cards donāt always have to be serious; sometimes a clever, funny line is all it takes to bring a smile to someoneās face.
Whether youāre sharing a laugh with friends, family, or that one cousin whoās always a little too honest, these funny Christmas wishes are sure to brighten their holiday spirit and keep the festivities light.
So grab a pen, get ready to chuckle, and letās make those Christmas cards the highlight of the season!
- “āTis the season to sparkleā¦ and stress about gift wrapping!”
- “Iāve got resting Grinch face until after my coffee.”
- “Christmas calories donāt count, right? Asking for a friend.”
- “Forget loveāI’d rather fall in hot cocoa.”
- Ā “Itās beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.”
- “Itās beginning to look a lot like Christmasā¦ and by that, I mean my to-do list just tripled in size.”
- “Santa, if you’re listening, I’ve been good all year, or at least I triedāwell, I came close… okay, Iāll do better next year.”
- “If you see me in December, just assume Iām either shopping, wrapping, baking, or pretending Iām not panicking.“
- “The true spirit of Christmas is trying to keep a straight face while pretending you didnāt already sneak a peek at your gifts.”
- “All I want for Christmas is for everyone to be nice, the house to magically clean itself, and maybe, just maybe, a little peace and quiet.”
Christmas Cards Funny Sayings
- “Merry Christmas! May your holiday season be filled with zero family drama and eggnog thatās just a little too strong.”
- “Christmas: The season of peace, joyā¦ and endless gift receipts.”.
- “Hope your holiday is as delightful as finding an extra cookie at the bottom of the tin.”
- May your Christmas be filled with love, laughter, and leftovers you wonāt get tired of by New Yearās.”
- “Merry Christmas! May your days be merry and your batteries fully charged for all the new gadgets.”
- “Forget silent nightsāhereās to joyful noise, endless snacks, and holiday cheer that lasts all year!”
- “Hope Santa brings you everything you didnāt realize you needed until now!”
- “Merry Christmas, here’s hoping Santa brings you at least one gift you wactually wanted this year!Ā
- “Christmas is the season for finding out how well you can hide your disappointment with a smile.”
- “May your holidays be as sweet as your family is weirdācheers to keeping it festive and slightly awkward!”
- “Christmas is that magical time of year when everyoneās living room looks like an explosion of wrapping paper and cookie crumbs.”
- Wishing you a season full of holiday cheerāand no family feuds at the dinner table.”
- “Hereās to hoping your holiday spirit lasts longer than your New Yearās resolution!”
- “Christmas: when you buy all the presents and realize the greatest gift is actually a quiet moment alone.”
- “Christmas magic is realājust watch how fast my money disappears this time of year!”
Funny Christmas Wishes For Friends
- “Merry Christmas, my friend! Letās eat, drink, and pretend weāre not responsible adults for a few days.”
- “Hereās to a season of eating cookies like no one is watchingā¦ even though we know they ae!”
- “Christmas with friends: the one time of year when itās acceptable to drink wine in your pajamas before noon.”
- “Merry Christmas! May your holiday season be as lazy and wonderful as we are all year long.”
- “Wishing you a holiday season filled with laughter, inside jokes, and only the good kind of holiday drama.”
- “Merry Christmas! May your holiday be filled with questionable decisions and memories that last a lifetime.”
- “Friends donāt let friends Christmas shop aloneā¦ especially if thereās holiday sales involved!”.
- “Merry Christmas to my friend who understands that āfestive spiritā really means ājustifying all the holiday snacksā!”
- “Christmas wishes for you, my friend: may your gifts be returnable and your fruitcake be re-giftable.”
- “Hereās to a Christmas season filled with more laughs than family drama and more cookies than responsibilities!”.
- “Happy Holidays to the friend who knows all my secretsāand even knows where the best Christmas cookies are hidden!”
- “Merry Christmas friend! Letās make some questionable decisions, blame it on the eggnog, and call it holiday spirit.”
- “Friends donāt let friends wrap presents alone. Unless youāre terrible at itā¦ then youāre on your own!”
- “May your holidays be merry, bright, and just the right amount of ridiculous.”
- “Hereās to a Christmas season filled with good friends, bad dancing, and way too many cocktails!”
Funny Christmas Quotes For Friends
- “Christmas is all about buying yourself gifts, wrapping them up, and then acting completely surprised when you open them.”
- “Iād say āAll I want for Christmas is you,ā but honestly, a nap and a cookie sound pretty good too.”
- “Dear Santa, I promise I can be better next yearā¦ unless itās inconvenient, then Iāll try again next year!”
- “The true spirit of Christmas? Finding the perfect giftā¦ for myself.”
- “Christmas shopping rule: one for them, two for me!”
- “Letās be honest: the best part of Christmas shopping is treating yourself along the way.”
- “Christmas truly is magicalā¦ I watched my bank account disappear right before my eyes!”
- “I told Santa I was on the nice list this yearā¦ he just laughed and moved me to the top of the naughty list.”
- “Dear Santa, I can explainā¦ but maybe letās just skip to the gifts.”
- Screw the nice list this year, let’s go crazy!”
āRemember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.ā
- “Sending you all the joys of the seasonāand none of the calories!”
- “Happy Holidays! May your Amazon deliveries arrive on time and your husband not be at home when they arrive!”
- “Itās that magical time of year when our diets go out the window, and our stretchy pants come to the rescue.”
- “Merry Christmas! Hereās hoping your holiday decor survives your pets and your sanity survives your family.”
- “Sending you holiday cheer, strong coffee, and all the willpower not to re-gift.”
- “Wishing you a season filled with laughter, minimal family drama, and exactly the right amount of coffee”
- “May your holiday be merry, bright, and just a little bit weirdābecause thatās what makes it memorable.”
- “Happy Holidays! May your gingerbread houses stand tall and your hot cocoa never run out.”
- “Wishing you a season of joy, laughter, and a better hiding spot than last year”
- “May your Christmas tree be bright, your wrapping paper plentiful, and your tangled lightsā¦ someone elseās problem.”.
Funny Holiday Card Sayings
- “Wishing you a holiday season full of joy, laughter, and elastic waistbands.”
- “May your holidays be as cheerful as a kid unwrapping presents at 5 a.m.”
- “Happy holidays! May your eggnog be spiked and your sweaters be ugly.”
- “Sending you all the peace and quiet you can get until the kids are back in school.”
- “May your holiday stress be less than the size of your Christmas tree.”
- “Wishing you a holiday where the biggest worry is how many slices of pie you can eat.”
- “Happy holidays! May your waistbands be stretchy and your naps be plenty.”
- “May your credit card bills be small and your holiday spirit be big!”
- “Merry Christmas! May your family be less dysfunctional than usual and your holiday drama be strictly on TV.”
- “Wishing you a holiday season so wonderful, even your in-laws can’t ruin it.”
Cute Christmas Quotes Funny
- “Nothing says Christmas spirit like last-minute shopping and questionable gift-wrapping skills.”
- “All I want for Christmas is a nap and a cookieā¦ okay, maybe two cookies.”
- “Dear Santa, Iāve been good-ish all year. Letās just focus on the āish.ā”
- “Nothing says Christmas spirit like last-minute shopping and questionable gift-wrapping skills.”
- āTis the season for hot cocoa, stretchy pants, and pretending Iāll start eating healthy in January.”
- “Christmas cheer is pretending to love everyone while secretly hoping the food is better this year.”
- “Wishing you a season filled with joy, love, and zero gift card mix-ups.”
- “Happy Holidays! May your gifts be perfect, your tree be straight, and your eggnog be strong.”
- “May your holiday season be full of family, fun, and avoiding the mistletoe when your weird uncleās around.”
- “Merry Christmas! May your holiday be full of laughs, your gifts be awesome, and your familyās drama stay in the group chat.”
Christmas Phrases Funny
- “Wishing you a holiday season filled with zero awkward conversations and endless cookies.”
- “Happy Holidays! Letās eat, drink, and be merryā¦ and leave the responsible decisions for next year.”
- “Fa-la-la-la-laā¦ letās skip the drama.”
- “Merry everything and happy always!”
- “Pro tip: Eat cookies first, think calories later.”
- “Itās all fun and games until the wrapping paper runs out.”
- “Silent nights are highly overrated.”
- “Dear Santa, define ānice.ā”
- “Letās be naughty and save Santa the trip.”
- “Christmas calories donāt count, right?”